Say something like, “Hey, if I start asking what my ex is up to, just remind me that I need space.” Or, you can ask them to distract you by changing the subject. You can even destroy what you wrote after the fact. If there’s something you really want to say to them, write it down in a journal or a text document, but don’t send it.It’s not likely to help anything, and you’ll probably feel embarrassed or upset about it the next day. Be especially careful not to contact your ex late at night or when you’ve been drinking.X Research source You may be able to have a friendship with them in the future, but it’s important to get some distance and time to heal before you try that. Unfollow them on social media, and take their number out of your contacts if you find it too tempting to call or text. As hard as it may be, do your best not to reach out to them at all unless it’s absolutely necessary. Keeping in contact with them will make you feel even worse than you already do. If you’re not sure how to get started, try signing up for a meditation course. Practice mindful meditation to help you become more aware of your thoughts and the feelings they trigger. It’s easier to deal with negative thoughts if you notice them when they happen.I learned things from this one that will help me make the next one even better.” My ex and I both played a part in it.” Or, “I’ve been in relationships before, and there’s no reason it won’t happen again. For example, you may find yourself thinking things like, “This is all my fault,” or “I’ll never find love again.” Respond to those thoughts with things like, “There were a lot of reasons it didn’t work out.X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source Next time you find yourself thinking something negative, notice the thought and gently challenge it with a more positive or realistic one. But letting those thoughts take over your mind will make it harder to heal and move on. It’s normal to have some dark thoughts when you’ve just gone through a terrible experience. Dwelling on blame or negative self-talk can make heartbreak worse.
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